OLD SOUL

     Before Ruby was ever born we somehow already knew her. We had her name picked out, we seemed to know her personality and we had this painting. This painting was spooky and beautiful and it showed us our daughter long before she became a reality. Marci and I would look at this painting and could imagine our future. When Ruby was born, when she became a real little girl, this painting would become even more spooky and beautiful because it looked so much like her! The little cheeks, the pursed little lips, the chubby belly and even the way the little girl curved her toes. This was a painting of Ruby! 

Painting of a little girl that Marci and I had long before Ruby was born. 

     Then, just the other day, we were at Marci's parent's house for a belated Christmas celebration. Their house is a giant old farmhouse that they have filled with amazing painting and photographs. Each time we visit I feel like I see a dozen new pieces hanging on the walls and this last time I saw a new photograph. In the picture, which seemed to be from the 1920s maybe, was a mother sitting with her little girl. There she was again! That's Ruby! The same cheeks, the same smile and the same little toes. Even the little girl's expression is exactly the same as Ruby's.

Photograph of a Mother and a little girl who looks just like Ruby.

     It's uncanny that these images look so much like my little girl. Does Ruby just have one of those faces? The kind that seem familiar to everyone? Perhaps, because I'm her Dad and think that she couldn't possibly be more unique, I can't see how common her features are. Or maybe, because I've never loved a face so much, I see it everywhere. Maybe Ruby is just an old soul. The perfect kind of soul that is filled with so much kindness and love that it has to exist constantly throughout time. Either way, being her Dad and knowing her is something that I couldn't be more thankful for. 

     As this year comes to an end I find myself thankful for both my girls. Being a Dad is something no one can be prepared for. It is impossibly rewarding and filled with endless love and dedication. Ruby and Lucy are simply the best things I've ever been a part of and I could never have known what real love is without them. A new year with them in it is the best thing I could hope for. 

Ruby Lynn Beighley in our apartment in Wexford, PA., New Year's Eve 2017

Maybe Try Harder

Ruby Lynn Beighley Laughing #1, photo by Marci Beighley. December, 2107

Ruby Lynn Beighley Laughing #2, photo by Marci Beighley. December, 2107

Ruby Lynn Beighley Laughing #3, photo by Marci Beighley. December, 2107

Lucy Marie Beighley in Natural Light, photo by Marci Beighley. December, 2107

     Maybe I could try harder. It's close to the end of the year and of course I'm feeling the need to make a list of all the things I want to change about myself. Resolutions. Do they ever work? Could I stick to them this time around? 

     Marci took these photos of the girls. She is an amazing photographer with the innate ability to capture those precious moments that we all take for granted. I'm so jealous of these photos. I should be doing more with a camera. I should be trying harder. 

     I give myself so many projects. Too many perhaps. I have an embarrassing amount of started and unfilled journals. I have a dauntingly expansive folder of images that I want to edit. I have so many books that I want to make... so many. 

     So this new year that's about to start, this millennia of MMXVIII, maybe my resolutions won't be forgotten by the second week. Here's to hope.